9/10/09

well Jason and just had a convo..and now i can't sleep so here i am to blog ...as to what who knows ...i'm sitting here thinking how did i get to the place i'm at i mean i'm not true happy with anything the way it is..i just feel that at this point maybe the world and me would be better if i didn't exist anymore..but that whole thought kinda scared me it the same sense i mean ..to think about what happen when i'm not..if i was to die tomorrow ..where would that leave all the ppl who care..maybe i should just withdrawn from them...seem whatever i say makes them feel like shit anyhow.. Jason is my life and somewhere on this walk i've lost him...with due cause...i know this walk has been shitty but at the end of the day i wouldn't have want to take in with no one else and maybe that's a bad thing ..with all the bumps i've caused along the way..but looking back if i could take them back i would but i can't and that the shittest thing ever because know i don't see how this walk can go on..he can't forget and somethings i cause i don't wanna ...man i'm tired...maybe it's time to run like hell i don't want to but maybe it's the best thing to do...i'm just losing grip on everything..i don't know.. going to try and sleep ...to tired to really think clearly right now..seem to be an on-going thing right now..sick of being sick...